One Info Session down
Apart from the logistics being a total pain in the ass, the info meeting at the agency in City A was pretty good. We had to leave immediately when I got home from work (I ate microwaved leftovers in...
View ArticleFunding Adoption
M and I are funding our adoption solely by ourselves. We haven't asked our parents or anyone else for assistance. That's not to say our family and friends won't help out in other way eventually. We may...
View ArticleAgency Visit 2
The more actions that M and I take towards really starting our adoption journey, the more real it begins to feel. Like it is slowly materializing into something solid and tangible after being a ghost...
View ArticleLosses Yet to be Mourned
I have worked hard to educate myself and M about the unique experiences we will have with adoption, the losses we are and will experience. I don't want to be blindsided by some unexplored grief when I...
View ArticleThe Healing Power of Hope
Hope was my enemy for so long while I struggled with infertility. Hope made me excited each new cycle, even at the end when I knew in my soul it wasn't working. Hope made me sob buckets, enough for a...
View Article3rd Agency Visit
Wow. Wow.... It is 18 hours later and I still feel a little tongue tied over our phone interview with the Agency in City B. I was never 100% on board with them based on the literature they provide and...
View ArticleMy Dreams of Clerical Work Have Come True!
Oh my, all of this adoption paperwork is so diverting and interesting! ....said no one ever. Still, it is something real and concrete that we are doing to work towards our baby. And that *is*...
View ArticleReal Progress!
I have made a lot of personal progress since Christmas: We announced our adoption plans to our greater circle of family and friends on Face.book just as we had mailed off our application to the Agency!...
View ArticleIt Really Was Going Too Well
Fuck you universe. Fuck. You. I think I have dealt admirably with everything life has thrown at me in 31 years. And I have learned to move on, to heal, to make do, and to find the good in truly shitty...
View ArticleI Calmed Down, I Promise
I feel bad for leaving up such an angry post for so long with no follow up. I always have a very strong initial reaction to change (whether good or bad) and I always calm down and move on, even if it...
View ArticleIt Won't Be Long Now
Being a task oriented person, there is nothing I love more than to check off items on a long "To-Do" list. We have finished our adoption classes! CHECK! We finally got fingerprinted! CHECK! The last...
View ArticleMeditating on Loss
"A child born to another woman calls me 'Mommy'. The magnitude of that tragedy and the depth of that privilege are not lost on me." - Jody Landers I keep coming back around to the thought that our joy...
View ArticleHomestudy!!!
We have a social worker!!! I had just commented to my friend that I was hoping to have been contacted by our social worker by now, but I didn't want to bug our agency about it - and then lo and behold,...
View ArticleOur Home Study Experience
Wow, that was quick and painless! ....Did I miss something? Wasn't that supposed to be intimidating, invasive, and take forever? M and I might have gotten extremely lucky and had just about the best...
View ArticleWildly Vacillating Emotions
I am so excited to be a mom! Wheeeee!!! I am so terrified of introducing an infant into our daily lives! Aaaaaagh!!! We're gonna have a baby! Eeeeeeeee!!! We're going to ruin our marriage! Heeeeeelp!!!...
View ArticleWaiting is waiting
We are agency approved! Our adoptive parent profile books have been ordered (after much hand-wringing and editing from me) and will be delivered to the agency by the end of the month. At that point we...
View ArticleIt Still Sucks
Allowing myself time to process and grieve my infertility, plus moving onto adoption for our family building, has gone a long way towards healing the deep seated anger, frustration, jealousy, and utter...
View ArticleCloth Diapering
After months of reading and digesting the mountains of information the internet has to offer on the topic of cloth diapering, I finally feel like I've come to a comfortable level of understanding. I...
View ArticleA Milestone
October was a crazy month. It started with M getting a new job offer (he'd been casually applying around for a few months for a variety of reasons). This new job would be military contract work, which...
View ArticleThe Wait So Far
We've been home study approved for 5 months now. We were told we can call the agency at any time to ask for an update on the activity (or lack thereof) on our profile. I wanted to wait a good long...
View ArticleJourney's End
Five years ago this month, I threw out my birth control pills as M and I actively began trying to expand our family... Five years ago. I can't even. One part of my brain tells me that five years is not...
View ArticleWeighing in the Balance
It is a strange and terrifying thing to get a phone call from your adoption agency - "There's a mother, there's a baby, and there are things you need to know." No adoption situation is perfect. There's...
View ArticleThe line is moving!
You know when you're in line for a roller coaster or something, and there are periods where you stand and stand and stand and the line doesn't budge an inch. Then all of a sudden, there's movement and...
View ArticleChosen
"All those days watching from the windows All those years outside looking in All that time never even knowing Just how blind I've been Now I'm here blinking in the starlight Now I'm here suddenly I see...
View ArticleOn the Other Side
I think some radio silence can be forgiven after something as upending as sudden parenting happens. A has been home for about 3 and half months now. I went back to work in September. We're fairly...
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